The Wednesday Evening Ramblings Of A Moderately Sane Woman

As I begin to write this post, I’m sitting here giggling to myself like a fool because the title sent me on an unexpected detour down memory lane. Remember Steve Martin’s Ramblin’ Man routine on SNL? Oh God, that was some quality TV. And what about the Two Wild and Crazy Guys routine he did with Dan Ackroyd? The latter of which is woven into the fabric of some of my best memories from high school and I didn’t even like high school, or any school. Anyway, check it all out on YouTube if you’re too young to know what I’m talking about. And thank me later.

In other news, I talked to my sick college kid this morning and she’s still sick. Poor Girl. She’s had to rearrange all sorts of deadlines with her profs, do whatever work she could manage and take care of herself all while feeling like crap. It’s been pretty stressful for her. But thankfully, she’s had lots of support there and it sounds like she might be turning a teeny tiny corner today in that her head isn’t pounding quite as badly, so fingers crossed. I gave her lots of love and sympathy and encouragement and then of course I had to add a crucial piece of motherly instruction as she prepares to fly here for Spring Break:

PLEASE DO NOT BRING THAT SHIT HOME WITH YOU.

On the way to school this morning Boy goes, “Mom, mark my words, MDK is gonna be a household name someday, not only because I like the idea of fame, but mostly because I love making my ideas real and one of them is gonna make me a star! My ideas are that good.”  Gotta love his passion. Knock yourself out, kid.

On that same drive, we hit horrible traffic, not sure what was going on because we don’t usually have traffic problems, and it became clear we were going to be late. So I called the school from the road and the secretary already knew about the traffic issue because buses were late too. Before we hung up, I asked her if it would be possible, in the event we didn’t make the bell, for me to send Boy into the office on his own to be signed in because I was still in my pajamas because…I don’t know, I forgot to get dressed. She sounded a little taken aback, AS IF she’d never heard that before. So I said I’d come in if I had to, I just really, REALLY didn’t want to and I really, REALLY didn’t think anyone else would appreciate it either. And then she laughed, said no problem. Phew.

I earned some extra spending money doing laundry earlier. I’m used to finding coinage and an occasional dollar bill, but I hit the jackpot today. $9. Not bad.

I won’t be speaking about the winter weather warning that goes into effect at midnight tonight or the projected snow accumulation, I will only remind whoever is in charge of the weather that ITS MARCH. And if any of you are  thinking you’d like to make a quick stop at Trader Joe’s, DON’T. I’ll spare you the details about the assholes in the parking lot, but I’ll give you a hint: Montgomery County Moms driving SUVs. Truly uncivilized.

Nothing will make you feel like you suck as a blogger or “writer” than digging deeper into the study of language, or linguistics. I’m no slouch but Jesus, the commas alone are enough to make me want to jump off a bridge. I’m reading editor Bill Walsh right now, and yes, he’s a snob. He’s also funny, persuasive, and a little nuts. What would he say about my use, or MISUSE, of commas? Frankly, I couldn’t care less, or maybe I COULD, but not much.

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